Blindsided
by SusannaC
Summary: Edward and Bella haven't seen each other for seven years. Edward is Alice's big brother. Bella is Alice's best friend. When Edward finds himself inviting Bella to live with him, he realizes that Bella isn't a kid anymore. He finds himself wanting her; physically, emotionally... He's been completely blindsided, but he is determined not to give in to his desires. EXB. AH. RATED M.
1. Chapter 1

**Blindsided**

 **Chapter One**

 _Edward_

I concentrated on eating my food to avoid my mother's persistent nagging about Tanya. We had broken up over a month ago, yet Esme just couldn't let it go. It wasn't that she was particularly fond of Tanya, but she wanted to see me happy, so that's what stopped me from cutting her off and telling her to drop it.

"She just wasn't the one mom." I spoke quietly, my voice low and hushed over the buzz of the restaurant, "I didn't love her and she didn't make me happy."

I thought the mention of my happiness would make her stop, but instead that spurred her on even more.

"What do you mean you didn't love her? You told me you did a few months ago. You told me she made you very happy." Her brow creased and I noticed my father sigh from beside her, but he didn't add anything to the conversation.

"At one point I thought she did." I put my fork down, looking my mother square in the eye, "I truly believed that I could be happy with her. Then I pictured proposing, and having children, and seeing her in my house day in day out and... And I couldn't picture it. She wasn't the right girl, she wasn't the right wife or mother I wanted for my children."

Esme's eyes bore deep into my soul for a long moment, and then she appeared satisfied. She gave a little "humph" before looking back down at her meal.

Carlisle gently smiled at me from across the table.

Alice, my sister, took this as her cue to speak and change the subject. I was eternally grateful that she was here; she always had something to say.

"So I'm thinking of moving to New York." She grinned, "Will you miss me?"

I rolled my eyes at her. Firstly, I knew she was never going to move to New York, she enjoyed being a part of Dad's law firm in Chicago too much. Secondly, I lived in Boston. I never got to see her anyway.

I voiced these thoughts to her, and my father grinned from his seat. He never wanted to lose his baby girl. Hell, he hated the idea of _me_ being so far away.

She crossed her arms, "I can't stay in Chicago forever. I want to branch out and have my own law firm."

I chuckled, "Maybe you will one day. But not when you're just out of college and twenty-two years old."

She tiled her head to the side, "True. But-"

Her phone began a low shrill, and her eyes widened as her face turned red. A few of the other patrons in the restaurant turned to look toward our table. She lifted it out and pressed the button quickly. I assumed she was hanging up, but instead the phone lifted to her ear.

"Bella? Are you ok?"

Isabella Swan was Alice's childhood friend. They were in the same year of school back in Chicago, and she practically grew up with us. I was three years older than them, so I only ever saw them as kids, and when I left for Harvard at eighteen, I never saw Isabella Swan again.

Of course, I came home during the holidays, but she was always spending time with her dad then. When she turned eighteen, she didn't have enough of a college fund to go straight to school, so she worked for a year to add to the funds and then took herself off to Harvard just like me. By then, I'd already left college, and even though we both lived in Cambridge, I never had the chance to lay eyes on her again.

Even though Alice had stayed in Chicago for college and Bella had gone off to Boston, they still remained best friends.

And I could tell by the worried look on Alice's face that something was wrong.

"Well, can they give you some sort of notice?" Alice's face was going red, "A week? Surely that's not legal..."

She stayed quiet for a moment, and our entire family refused to eat as we listened.

"I know it's your final year, Bella... Surely there is someone that has a spare room." I couldn't hear what was being said on the other end of the phone, but suddenly Alice noticed us all looking at her, "Listen, I'm in Boston right now with mom and dad visiting Edward, we're having dinner but once we're finished I'll come over and see you, okay? We'll sort this out."

She hung up a few minutes later, and Esme's eyes were wide with worry, "What's wrong with Bella?"

"Turns out her apparent 'landlord' has been subletting to Bella and got caught out. She has until the end of the week to find somewhere new to live but everywhere is too expensive or too far away from Harvard."

"Can't Charlie help her out?" My mother asked quickly.

Obviously she didn't think about what she was saying. After Bella's mom left when she was a baby, Charlie had been a single parent most of Bella's life. He gave her everything he had and even then it wasn't enough to get her to college first time around. Bella, from what I'd heard, took her father's money for college on the one condition that he let her take care of everything else for the rest of her life.

If I knew one thing about fifteen year old Bella, it was that she was stubborn and independent. I doubted that had changed now that she was twenty-two.

"Obviously not." Carlisle answered my mother, "We could give her some money?" He hedged the conversation towards Alice, but she raised her hand in a flat no. We all knew Bella would never accept.

"She could move in to my spare room?" I offered.

I don't why I'd just said that. To be honest, after Tanya had moved out a month ago, I loved having my own space back again. I didn't want it tarnished with a college girl.

But she was also my sister's best friend, and she'd been a part of my childhood. If Bella had a brother I'd want him to do the same thing for Alice.

Alice stared at me for a long moment, dumbfounded.

"What? It makes sense."

It _did_ make sense. When I moved to Harvard I got a college house with my friends just like everyone else. And when I finished college and got my job at my accountancy firm, I rented a gorgeous apartment in Cambridge. I _loved_ Cambridge, I _loved_ living near Harvard with a short commute to the city every morning. It was the best of both worlds – city and suburban life.

Alice still hadn't spoken.

"Listen, if she doesn't want to take it as charity, tell her I'm struggling to pay the rent since Tanya moved out last month. She can pay whatever she was paying in her old place."

I could almost see the wheels turning in Alice's brain. She knew it made sense.

"But you're not struggling to pay rent. And you haven't seen Bella in years. You don't even know her anymore." She argued.

"I know that, but she doesn't. And yes, that's true. But I doubt she's changed that much. Unless she's now a crazy college girl that goes to parties all the time. I don't really want to deal with that, especially with a nine-to-five job."

Alice giggled, and I saw Carlisle and Esme grin from the corner of my eye, "That's not Bella _at all..._ Maybe you do still know her a bit." Alice agreed, "Only if you're sure though Edward."

"I'm sure... She will only be there a few months away until she finishes college, right?"

"Obviously." Alice rolled her eyes, before excusing herself to use the restroom, where she was going to phone Bella and tell her the good news.

* * *

Two days later, my family had left Boston to go back to Chicago and I had been given Bella's number to contact her about her move.

I had text her early in the morning before I had gone into a meeting, and when I returned to my desk at lunch I didn't have a reply. Like most days, I worked through my lunch hour with my pasta salad at my desk. I barely raised my head until it hit 5:30pm.

The accountancy firm I had landed a job at after college was one of the best in the city. It was busy, fast paced and I loved it. But there were a lot of people who worked here, and at twenty-five I was also one of the youngest. I had to work even harder to get noticed, because I wanted to move up the ladder quickly, at _my_ pace not the firm's.

That was another problem I had with Tanya. I would rather work than spend time with her, and I wanted a woman that made me question my love of my job. I wanted a woman that would make me forget the office, not bring any work home, just so I could spend all my free time with her so I never missed a second.

By the time I'd left the office, got in my car and drove home, it was nearly 6:30pm. Traffic was busier than usual tonight because there was a big college football game on.

When I got in, the first thing I did was throw my keys in the bowl by the door, drop my briefcase and coat on the rack, before pulling my tie undone. The apartment was quiet, obviously. I made my way to the kitchen, lifting out the homemade lasagne from the fridge my mother had made me just before they left yesterday. I took a massive slice off, put it on a plate and began to heat it up.

While I was waiting, I walked through the kitchen and into the living room, flicking on the TV before I plopped down on the large grey corner sofa, relaxing for a moment as I found the channel that would have the game on tonight.

I let the noise filter through the apartment as I made my way into my bedroom and stripped off. I put the dirty clothes in the hamper and padded my way into the en-suite, not bothering to close the door as I showered quickly and put on some sweat pants and an old t shirt.

I chuckled to myself quietly as I remembered I would have to get used to closing the door in the next few days after Bella moved in.

Thinking about that reminded me that she still hadn't replied to me, and as I ate my lasagne and watched the game, I wondered if she was going to cancel the move and she'd perhaps found somewhere else to live.

Just after 9pm, however, I received a text.

 _Hi Edward, thanks again for the offer. Sorry for the late reply, I had class and I'm just home. I have a half day tomorrow, so I could move my stuff in then if it's okay?_

All I could picture as I read the text was fifteen year old Bella Swan; pretty but plain, with mousey brown hair, deep brown eyes and a few pimples on her pale face.

 _Class until 9pm? Yes, tomorrow is fine. I can leave work at 4pm so you could come over at 5._

I replied back quickly, before remembering to send her the address.

After I had done that, it took her another half hour to reply. I tried to picture what she was doing and why she wasn't answering me. Maybe she was getting changed, maybe she was eating dinner.

 _Yes, I take a journalism class on a Monday night for extra experience. 5pm tomorrow is good. Thanks x_

I simmered over that for a long moment, wondering if I should reply. Eventually, I replied with _See you then_ but I couldn't help but get curious about the journalism class. Was that the job she wanted? To be quite honest I didn't even know what her major was.

But I knew I was about to find out, tomorrow at 5pm.

 **Please review, it would mean a lot to me if I knew there was support for the story. New chapters will follow quickly.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _Edward_

I got into work an hour early so that I could definitely leave at 4pm. My knee bounced for the entire day and I wasn't sure why, but my focus wasn't entirely on my job for the eight hours I was there.

I kept thinking about what I used to know of Bella Swan. How she was quite a shy person, very smart, mature, and never really spoke to me much for the first few years until one night she and Alice had a sleepover.

Alice had just turned fifteen, Bella's birthday wasn't for another month, and she had stayed in our house after Alice's party. I had been downstairs getting a hot drink at around 2am when she appeared at the doorway. She'd scared the crap out of me that night, and I remember her giggling as she stood in her High School Musical pyjamas. I'd offered to make her a drink and she'd accepted, perching herself on the stool by the kitchen island.

We had a proper conversation that night, without Alice around to chime in. She asked what I wanted to be when I finished college; I told her an accountant and a photographer. I remember her brow crinkling in confusion.

"How can you be both?" She had asked.

I didn't know at the time, but I told her I'd find a way.

And I did.

Even though my nine-to-five job was as an accountant, I also freelanced as a photographer for the Boston Herald. They used my images quite regularly, and it was nice to have a bit of extra income alongside seeing my work being shown to thousands. The only people that knew about my work were my father and Alice. I knew my mother wouldn't approve and would expect me to put all my focus on accountancy. My friends? Well, they'd probably just rip me for it.

That night, I could remember looking at Bella and even though she was young, I could see a maturity in her that I couldn't find in my own sister. I could remember her talking animatedly about Harvard, how it was her dream and she couldn't wait to go. I could remember wishing that her dream came true...

When I got home, I thought I would have some time to change before Bella got there. But when I got inside and dropped my briefcase and jacket on the rack, I had only a few seconds of silence before the buzzer sounded.

"Hello?" I lifted the intercom.

"Um hi, it's Bella." A soft voice answered back.

I knew it was Bella, I could tell by the sweetness in her voice and the way she spoke quietly. However, her voice had also changed. It had matured and grown – she sounded more like a woman.

 _Of course she's a woman, she's twenty-two years old._

Although my subconscious knew this to be true, as I made my way down the stairs to welcome her and help her with her things, I still expected to see the fifteen year old girl I'd left behind.

When I opened the door, I was not prepared for what I saw. As Bella Swan looked up at me, all I could do was stare right back at her, letting my hand fall away from the door and land at my side as a haze came over me and my body seemed to ignite with tension and excitement.

Isabella Swan was beautiful.

Her mousey brown hair had almost transformed into chocolate brown waves that fell down her back, with a few loose curls that cradled her face. That face still belonged to Bella, but where there used to be a pimple every now and again, there was now flawless skin that was still pale but definitely not plain. She didn't wear makeup, though she didn't need to. Her lips were full and the perfect mix of red and pink hues. Her eyes were deep brown, the same gorgeous shade as they had always been, only now they were older and surrounded by long dark eyelashes that didn't need any touch ups at all.

After my eyes got locked within her hazel gaze, I forced them away to rake down her body. She was taller than I remembered, obviously, but she was still small and slim. She would only reach my shoulder.

She wore a white camisole and blue skinny jeans, and both pieces of fabric hugged her skin in _all_ the right places. Although I couldn't see the back of her, I could see the jeans moulded into what I could only imagine was a perfectly rounded bum. As my eyes drifted back up, I saw her chest rise and fall quicker than was humanly normal, and I watched the swell of her breasts move over and over again for a long minute. They were bigger than I remembered, and it seemed like they would fit perfectly in the palm of my hands.

When that thought crossed my mind, my eyes flashed back up to her face as I realised my own breathing was laboured.

"Bella." I spoke softly, "It's good to see you."

It wasn't a lie. It _definitely_ was not a lie.

She smiled softly, perfect white teeth under those soft plump lips, "It's good to see you too. Thank you so much for doing this. I promise I won't be any trouble."

 _You will... You definitely will be trouble..._

I nodded once, stepping to the side to let her come in. She had three suitcases on the steps behind her.

"Is that all you've got?" I asked, my voice probably sounding a lot more judgemental than I'd intended.

"My apartment was furnished... That's all I have." She nodded quietly, "I don't want to get a lot of stuff until I move in to the city."

I picked up two of the suitcases, one was ridiculously heavy and the other I could manage easily enough. I tried to seem masculine and not let the weight get to me as I began to climb the stairs.

"You want to move into the city?" I asked, holding my breath as I climbed the second flight of steps.

"Yes." She answered simply, carrying the other suitcase with two hands behind me.

"Leave that, I can get it." I instructed.

She shook her head. Definitely still independent and stubborn.

When we got to my apartment I opened the door quickly and let her suitcases go on the floor. She trailed behind me and I took the case off her just before she let it drop.

"Thanks," she muttered quickly, flashing me a quick smile. She took a moment to glance around the apartment, open plan and full of light, "Wow, this place is gorgeous." She took a few steps inside as I shut the door behind her.

She let her fingers rove across the kitchen island, before they found one of the dining room chairs and then the sofa. She squeezed it hard, and I watched as she smiled, "The sofa is my favourite." I commented.

"It seems so soft." She agreed. Her face changed then, and she blinked quickly before putting her hand into the pocket of her jeans, "I almost forgot, here's rent for the next month." She put her hand out and I could see four one hundred dollar bills.

My stomach twisted as guilt rode over me. I knew she couldn't afford this, I knew that she had struggled to pay for college in the first place, never mind paying for rent, utilities, textbooks, food and a _life_ at the same time. But I also knew how stubborn she was, so I took the money from her hand and smiled, "Thanks. Don't worry if you can't always get it to me on time."

"I'll always get it to you on time." She nodded once, determined.

To try and change the subject, I put the money in my wallet and picked up the suitcases again, "Would you like to see your room?"

She nodded and followed me as I crossed the living room and down the short hallway. My room was on the left, it was much bigger that the spare and had a massive bed, built in wardrobes and an en-suite. The spare room was on the right and although smaller, still had a double bed, a wardrobe, and a small dressing table.

"Wow, it's so pretty." She smiled, and I loved the fact that she appreciated it. Tanya had always hated the room and constantly wanted to redecorate it into something different.

Bella made her way to the window, looking out at the sidewalk that was lined with trees. My eyes landed on her pert ass, and I internally groaned at just how right I'd been. _It was perfect._ I put her cases down and started to talk, my hand reaching up to pull on the hair at the nape of my neck, trying to distract it from wanting to feel the soft flesh of her skin, "Um, I have an en-suite in my bedroom, so the main bathroom is all yours. It's just the door at the bottom of the hall. I'm sure there will be enough space for your clothes in the wardrobe."

She turned around, a bright smile on her face, "Thanks. Sorry about the heavy case, I have a lot of books in that one." She pointed to the grey case, and it all made sense to me.

"There's a bookshelf in the living with some space if you'd like to put them there." I offered, and again I got to see her perfect smile.

"Thanks Edward." The sound of her voice saying my name sent a thrill through me. I hadn't heard her say it in so long.

My body seemed to buzz right from my head down to my toes. I backed out of the room slowly, "I'll go and get you the other case, and you can start unpacking."

She didn't answer, instead she was already moving towards the cases. When I came back a second later she had already begun to unpack her clothes, I simply left the last case inside the room and gave her some privacy.

I sat down on the sofa as I tried to process everything that was happening. My hands were sweaty and I felt like I couldn't really breathe completely right. Isabella Swan was living with me, and she wasn't fifteen anymore. She wasn't a little girl who I only thought of as my sister's best friend. She wasn't plain or ordinary or not really anything special anymore.

Isabella Swan was fucking gorgeous. If I had met her in a bar, a coffee shop, or even just on the street, I'd spend an hour trying to work up the courage to speak to her. She was twenty-two years old and now the three year age gap didn't seem like much at all.

How had I been so naive to suggest this? Did I honestly think she was going to remain as awkward, plain and boring as she once had been? Did I expect her to still not to have an ass, or breasts? Did I expect her not to be completely drop dead gorgeous that I wouldn't ever want to touch her or kiss her?

Because now all I fucking wanted was to go into that room, pin her to the wall and devour her.

It was fucking crazy.

I sat on the sofa, wondering how I was going to get my sudden urges under control. I looked out, above the TV and instead, out of the massive bay windows that lay behind it.

I would have to treat her like Alice.

I would have to treat her like my sister.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and looked at the screen.

 _Did Bella arrive ok?_

It was Alice. I unlocked my phone and typed a quick reply.

 _Yeah, she's just unpacking. Will phone you tomorrow._

I put my phone away again, just as I heard movement from the hallway.

Bella came out, holding a stack of books and trying to balance them precariously on top of the other.

I watched as she knelt down on her knees by the bookshelf under the window, trying not to imagine her doing other things on her knees.

She placed the books on the floor before beginning to look at the titles I already had there. Her slim fingers traced over the spines, and she smiled thoughtfully, "You have a lot of classics, like me." She noted, before her eyes drifted to the shelf below and she looked at my CD's, "Classic books _and_ classic music."

"Yeah." I breathed with a smile, I didn't know what else to say.

She was the first person to ever notice what kind of books or music I liked. And I'd lived with Tanya for nearly a year. She was also the first person I'd ever met that liked the classics, like me.

Instead, I watched as she placed her books on the free shelf at the top. She was right, I did have some of them, but there were others I had only heard of and never actually read.

"Have you read all of these?" I asked in disbelief.

"I'd like to think so." She giggled. The sound was like music, travelling into my ears and sending shivers down my entire body, Goosebumps rose on my arms.

"How?" My brow furrowed, I didn't understand.

"I'm an English major." She turned her head to look at me as she placed the final few books on the shelf.

"Ah." I nodded, "That makes sense."

"Sorry, I assumed you knew." She shrugged before getting up and moving back towards her room.

I _should_ have known. How could I go all those years without hearing Alice talking about it? Or even asking her myself?

Bella had been a big part of our lives and as soon as I left for college I had just forgotten about her.

Yet now she was living with me and I could tell she was going to plague my dreams.

But it was just a physical attraction.

I had met plenty of women I was physically attracted to but didn't want them to make company in my bed, and I'd always succeeded in never giving in to the desire to have them. I was proud of my morals. And I'd be even prouder by not having sex with Isabella Swan.

After I had made this solid resolve with myself, I walked to Bella's room and knocked quietly on the door.

"Come in." She called.

I opened the door slowly and looked around. She worked _fast._

She had put new sheets on her bed, so now the pillows and duvet didn't look boring. They were now filled with purple flowers and her bedside table had a small reading lamp set up alongside a photo of her and Charlie.

The suitcases were gone, pushed under the bed I assumed, and she had left one wardrobe door open and I could see her clothes already hung up and sorted through.

What surprised me the most was that the dressing table had now been transformed. Although the stool and mirror still remained, she had placed a pot of pens in the right hand corner, it was filled with different coloured pens, pencils and highlighters, and beside it lay a hole punch and stapler. She had a few large folders, bright in colour and most full to the brim with notes sitting at the other end of the dresser. She had a few textbooks too, lined up perfectly in harmony with everything else. Right in the middle she had another folder only half full, one that she currently had open and was looking over studiously, a green pen between her teeth and surrounded by her full lips.

 _Fuck._

I tried to shake the thoughts of her lips on my skin, and instead focused on the fact that she was far beyond any other female I had ever encountered before. She had changed a _dressing table,_ that even I knew should be filled with makeup and hair products, and instead turned it into a study area.

Who was this enigma?

I cleared my throat, realising that she had turned her head to look at me expectantly.

She looked so cool and confident, whilst I found myself needing to reach up and loosen my shirt and tie at the neck just to be able to breathe a bit better.

"Would you like me to order some food for dinner? My treat. I know you must be hungry." I offered.

I would do this for Alice. It was a normal thing to do.

"Sure. What kind of food?"

"Anything you want." I was really in the mood for some Chinese food, but I would let her decide.

"What about Chinese food?" She smiled sweetly.

Was she able to read my mind? Or was she just perfectly in harmony with me?

 _Kill me now_ , I begged.

* * *

 **I have a lot more motivation when I know that my stories are being enjoyed, so reviews are appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _Bella_

I sat on the end of my new bed, my hands shaking and sweaty. I palmed them along the duvet, trying to take a deep breath and clear my thoughts.

I couldn't believe I was living with Edward Cullen.

I almost let out a giggle at the absurdity of the situation. When I'd found out I had to move out of my tiny one bedroom shoe box apartment that was the only thing I could afford whilst I studied, my heart had almost cut right through my chest. When Alice told me Edward needed help with rent and had a spare room my heart jumped right to my throat and started choking me.

I knew he didn't need help with rent. He knew that I knew he didn't need help with rent.

He had obviously been asked by Alice; or possibly Esme and Carlisle to do the favour.

The last time I had seen Edward Cullen was about a year ago, one evening when I stopped at a coffee shop on Massachusetts Avenue on my way back from my journalism evening class. I had been sat by the window and seen him walking down the street with a tall leggy blonde, his hand held firmly in hers. She was smiling, looking like it had taken her two hours to get dressed, but also looking like a million dollars. She was the closest to me, so she blocked him from my view slightly, but I could still tell it was him.

I would be able to spot Edward Cullen in a crowd of a million people.

He looked tired that night, but still had a slight crooked smile on his face. It was dark, so I couldn't make him out as perfectly as I wanted to, but his dark hair _still_ sat dishevelled on his head, his jaw could _still_ cut ice and his entire face and body was _still_ to die for. I could guarantee his eyes were still emerald green too.

Before that night, the last time I'd seen him was when I was fifteen years old and he was going off to college. I was invited to his leaving meal, and the next day I stood beside Alice as she cried and held on to him tightly. I wished I could hold on to him too. He was my first crush, the first boy I wished would kiss me, hold me and make love to me. I had been crazy for him.

The day he left, he smiled at me in goodbye and told me, "I'll let you know what Harvard is like. And I'll see you there someday."

His words had been like a promise of meeting again, but every time he came home I never got to see him. When I started at Harvard he had already graduated. I knew he still lived close by, Alice had told me so, but he had always seen me as a child, so I didn't try and call him up.

It was odd that in the near four years I'd lived here, we had never ran in to each other, and that I'd only ever laid eyes on him once.

But now, everything seemed to be changing. He had broken up with his girlfriend, the leggy blonde I'd guessed, and I was moving in with him.

He'd just offered to order Chinese food, and after I'd given him my choices, he left me alone in my new room again.

My heart, which had never looked at a man and reacted so violently before, _still_ hadn't calmed down after laying eyes on Edward Cullen at twenty-five years old.

He was a God.

He was gorgeous, beautiful and fucking damn sexy.

When he opened the door to me, my heart momentarily stopped, before picking up double time. I could tell his eyes were raking over me, obviously acquainting himself with me after seven years of never seeing me. But all I could do was stare at him and try to breathe.

He was perfect. So perfect that my heart hurt.

His tousled hair sat messily on his head, looking like he'd had a long day at the office. I longed to give him a head massage and pepper his face with kisses before getting on top of him and...

I'd stopped my thoughts in their tracks, instead moving my eyes over his strong jaw line that had the tiniest bit of stubble, the same and yet _so different_ from when he was eighteen. His lips were parted slightly as he stared at me, and I longed to place a kiss on them, just like I always had. And his eyes... His eyes stared right at me like he could read my very thoughts.

As I'd gasped for a breath, I could feel my chest rising and falling as oxygen just wouldn't come quick enough. My eyes tore down his body, through the shirt and trousers he was wearing, just _knowing_ that his chest, arms, legs... _Everything_... Was strong and muscular.

And then, as if God wanted to torture me a little bit more, he spoke my name softly and carefully.

 _Fuck._

I wanted to offer myself to him right then and there. And I'd never offered my body to anyone before, my degree and my future were the only things that had concerned me since he left.

I'd been trying not to think about him as we made our way up to his apartment. I kept my hands busy by carrying one of the suitcases, looking around his lovely apartment and then unpacking my belongings in my new room.

But now I was done, and I had to have dinner with him.

The only thing I could tell myself was to forget all thoughts about him and see him as what he was – my best friend's brother.

* * *

 _Edward_

I'd ordered the Chinese food before getting a quick shower and changing into more comfortable clothes. I didn't hear much noise from Bella's room so I wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep.

I went back to the sofa, leaving the remote on the space next to me. I wanted to show Bella that this was now her home too, at least for a few months, so she should feel comfortable being here.

That meant she could choose the TV shows if she wanted.

I put my head back on the cushion, resting my eyes for a moment before I heard the door to Bella's room open quietly.

Every nerve in my body tightened as I waited for the space next to me to move slightly with her weight. I wanted her to come and sit beside me, touch my face and kiss me before straddling my waist.

Instead, I heard the shower in the main bathroom start, and although I was slightly disappointed she hadn't come to join me, my mind filled with new images.

I could picture her naked, in my apartment, so close to me that I could barely breathe. I pictured myself getting up and going to her, opening the door slowly.

Without a word, I'd go to her, pulling the shower curtain open and letting my eyes feast on her body. The soft curve of her hips, the slim line of her stomach, how the water would drip down between her pert breasts on one side, and roll down past her ass on the other. I'd grab her, and neither of us would say a word but our eyes would say _everything._

They would say we wanted each other, that we would do nothing to stop what was happening between us because it felt so _right._

I'd let the water hit me, even though I'd be fully clothed. I'd press my mouth to hers and capture every sweet moment that this girl could give. I'd let my hands roam along her body, down her neck, across her breasts, further down her sides before they rested on her ass. She'd moan as I pushed her against me, letting her entire body feel just how ready I was for her, letting her hands do even more. Then slowly, just to tease her, I'd let one hand rove around to her clit, just touching once... Twice... Before-

"Hey, Edward? I think the buzzer is going."

Bella's voice awoke me from my dream, and I was suddenly eternally grateful that I'd put a pillow on my lap when I'd sat down.

I looked up at her, swallowing at her thin vest top and pyjama shorts that definitely had no bra or panties underneath. She had definitely changed from the High School Musical days.

"Uh yeah." I shook my head, waking myself up, "Yes, that must be the food."

"I'll get it." She smiled, moving towards the door.

All I could picture was her bouncing downstairs, opening the front door and showing her delicious body to the delivery guy.

Protective jealousy raged over me.

"No!" I almost shouted, "I'll do it."

I got up, thankful that my sweatpants were baggy. She stopped at the door, and I had to keep my eyes off her ass as I passed by her and grabbed my wallet.

Going downstairs for the food allowed me to clear my head. I tried to picture Bella at fifteen, singing and dancing with Alice in her room. The thought did its job in repulsing me enough that I didn't have any sexual thoughts about Bella for the rest of the night.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed the first insight into Bella?**

 **As always, reviews and feedback is appreciated. They make the connections with the characters a lot stronger and give me a lot more motivation to continue.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _Bella_

I had barely seen Edward for the rest of the week. This wasn't out of choice, but it was good for us. The distance made it easier not to be insanely attracted to him.

That first night, we had sat on the sofa and ate our Chinese food. He let me pick the show, and I asked if it was ok if I logged in to my Netflix account and watched Narcos. He loved the show, but I was two episodes behind him. Thankfully, he was open to watching them again to let me catch up.

The conversation was strained at first; we exchanged pleasantries about Charlie, Esme and Carlisle. We talked about Alice for about a half hour, catching each other up on embarrassing stories we both had about her over the last seven years.

After that conversation, Edward looked at me softly, "I'm sorry, Bella."

"For what?"

"We're talking for the first time in seven years... We've lived near each other for nearly four... It's crazy. I wish we had talked more, and we didn't have to do all this catching up now."

My heart had hammered in my chest as he spoke, and my face flushed red as I bit down on my lip.

"Yeah, but I was Alice's friend not yours. You had no obligation to speak to me. We barely spoke anyway." I laughed.

He chuckled in return, and the heavenly noise made my toes curl in excitement.

After that, it seemed like the ice had been broken and we treated each other almost like friends.

We talked about Narcos, and other TV shows we watched. We talked about books, and which were our favourites. He asked me about my major, and my plans for after graduation. He seemed impressed that I wanted to be a journalist.

Since that night though, I had been busy. I had classes for the rest of the week, and two shifts at the bookstore on Wednesday and Thursday night. Even though I loved my job there, I had been saving every little penny for months, so I would have enough money to quit for the last few weeks of college and put all my focus on finals.

Edward and I had been like ships passing in the night the last few days. On Wednesday I had come home and he was eating his dinner. He went to bed almost straight afterwards. On Thursday, I came home and he was already in bed, but he'd left a note on the kitchen counter telling me he'd saved me some tomato and chicken pasta bake.

I smiled, and I was reminded of how kind and caring he could really be. Now I knew why Alice adored him as a brother.

Tonight was Friday, and although I sometimes went for coffee or a drink with a few people after class, tonight all I wanted to do was go home and sleep... And see Edward for the first time in days.

I wanted to see him tonight because I still hadn't told him I'd be going out on Saturday night. I knew I didn't have to tell him – he wasn't Charlie. But I just wanted to communicate with him so he at least knew I wasn't going to show up too drunk, making too much noise.

It was our Harvard Ball on Saturday night, the last one before finals and graduation. I had never gone to one before, but I felt as though I was missing out on a rite of passage if I didn't go to the last one. So I'd brought my old prom dress to the dry cleaners to get cleaned, and they also altered the length a little and released some more fabric at the bottom because I had grown slightly. It worked out much cheaper than buying a new dress.

When I got home though, he was nowhere to be found. It was only just past five, so I guessed that he was on his way home from work.

After showering quickly and putting on comfortable clothes, I decided to cook with a few of the groceries I had picked up on my way back from work last night. My meal of choice was a homemade stir fry. Quick, easy and I could leave some for Edward without it looking too weird.

I put on the TV, and selected a music channel. Although I was used to current chart music playing in shops and bars, I selected some smooth music to filter through the apartment and welcome in the weekend.

By the time I had chopped the vegetables, meat and prepared the soy sauce, it was 6pm and Edward still hadn't returned home. My mind began to wander, and I was suddenly worried that he perhaps went out after work with his friends... Or _a woman._

 _What if he had a date tonight?_

I really shouldn't be surprised by this, or even upset. Edward Cullen was gorgeous, I knew he would have ladies falling over him and he probably had a lot of dates, especially now that he was single.

But considering he was my childhood crush and even now I ached to climb into his bed every night, I wasn't sure how I'd react if he brought a woman home one evening.

But I couldn't say anything. This was his home way more than it was mine.

I'd have to remember to put some snacks in my room, just so I could hide out in there when that time came.

As I was throwing the ingredients in the wok, the front door opened. Edward stepped inside and put his belongings down by the door, before glancing up at me with tired eyes. He blinked suddenly, and then his face seemed to clear of the slight frown he'd been wearing.

He smiled at me crookedly, "Hi."

"Welcome home." I smiled back, ignoring my sudden irregular heartbeat, "I'm cooking a stir fry if you'd like some."

He walked towards the kitchen slowly, his eyebrows rising as he loosened his tie.

 _God he looked so sexy when he did that._

"You can cook?" He seemed shocked, and he peered down at the food with uncertainty.

"Yes, actually." I was slightly offended, but then I remembered he hardly knew anything about me, "You and Alice weren't the only ones Esme taught how to cook you know."

He'd been looking down at the wok, watching as I stirred the vegetables, chicken and sauce together. At my words, his eyes flashed up to meet mine, "My mom taught you how to cook?"

I giggled, before letting out a little sigh, "I didn't have my mom to do it, so she used to teach me when she taught Alice. I cooked for Charlie since I was about eleven... So I can assure you that I won't give you food poisoning."

At my admission, his beautiful face faltered, "I'm sorry, Bella... I didn't mean to... About your mom..."

I shrugged, "I can't be sad about someone I barely met, Edward. Don't feel bad." I let my eyes tell him that it was okay, before I continued, "Do you want some or not?"

"Yes please." He grinned, "I'm starved and I've had such a long ass day."

He plonked down on one of the dining room chairs, letting out a long gust of air before he ran his long angelic fingers through his tousled hair. I let my eyes fall over him, watching as his shirt strained against his slim but muscular chest and I imagined what it would be like to slip my fingers underneath the fabric and feel the dustings of hair beneath.

"How was your day?" I asked quietly, shaking my head to rid myself of those impure thoughts.

"Just busy. But I couldn't really focus so I kept getting frustrated at all those fucking numbers in front of me."

I laughed, "That's why I always stick with words."

He smiled at me, glancing up from underneath his long lashes. He didn't speak for a long moment, and I felt myself get trapped in his gaze and my face flush red as silence fell around us.

I wished I could read his mind.

When he did speak, he was thoughtful and his voiced seemed muted, "How was your day, Bella?"

"Um... Ok... I guess..." I swallowed, releasing myself from his gaze to stir in the noodles, "I'm looking forward to finishing at the bookstore next week so I can focus on my finals. I've started to look for jobs too."

"Oh, really? Where?" His interested perked, and he sat up straighter in his chair.

"A few papers in Boston, one or two in New York and one in Chicago."

"Oh..." He looked away for a long moment, before glancing back at me, "Which would you prefer?"

"I'm not sure." I admitted, however, it was nothing but a big fat lie.

I wanted to stay in Boston. I loved this city.

I loved being able to look at skyscrapers one minute, and then the brownstones that surrounded Harvard the next. I loved to experience the hustle and bustle of city life, before going to a tiny coffee shop or massive park to relax.

Chicago was too close to Charlie. I loved him, but I had gotten used to being on my own without my father looking over my shoulder.

And New York was... _The city of dreams..._ But it was the place I wanted to keep a novelty of. I wanted to go there on vacation and have every time be just as amazing. I didn't want to live there and wake up one morning suddenly not besotted with it anymore.

But I didn't want to tell Edward I preferred Boston for two reasons:

I didn't want him to notice the disappointment if I didn't get a job here.

I didn't want him thinking he'd be stuck with me living here for a long time.

"They'd all be lucky to have you." Edward gave me a strained smile, before getting up from his seat, "Would you like a beer?"

He'd moved past me towards the fridge, lifting out a cold one and stretching his hand out towards me.

"Sure." I shrugged, letting him open it for me before he placed it down beside the cooker.

"It's still weird that you're legal." He chuckled as he lifted himself a beer too, "I remember when you and Alice were kids."

I wasn't sure why, but I hated the fact that he was speaking about me from when I was younger as if he was my father and not just three years older than me. It was as if he was trying to remind me that I was younger than him, that I should know my place as his inferior; as his sister's best friend.

"I remember too." I agreed curtly, "Thankfully I'm _completely_ legal now." Lifting the beer with my free hand, I winked at him as I clinked my bottle with his before taking a long sip.

 _There._ Maybe now he will stop reminding me of a time when he was gorgeous and sexy, and I was just a kid watching Disney movies and letting Alice braid my hair.

I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eye as I turned my attention back to the food. I wasn't completely sure, but his eyes seemed wide and I noticed his Adam's apple bob down and then back up again.

"I'm just going to get changed before dinner." He murmured quietly, before he began to slink off to his room. "Actually, Bella." His voice was louder and I turned my head to look at him, standing just outside his bedroom door, "I just remembered to tell you, I have a friend coming over tomorrow."

 _A woman._

The air stopped flowing down my throat; it felt constricted and way too warm. My worst fears were confirmed.

I could already picture him sitting with _this woman,_ his hand draped across her shoulders, leaning in to kiss her softly...

 _No._

Don't torture yourself Bella. It's not worth it.

"Okay." I nodded instead, my voice squeaky, "I'll probably be getting ready most of the day anyway and I'll be out of your hair by about six."

He stood up straight, "Where are you going?"

I remembered _again_ that I still hadn't told him.

"The final Harvard Ball. I'm sure you're familiar with them." I smiled softly, and my tongue bit back the words I wanted to say.

 _I don't have a date._

 _I'm just going with my friends._

 _Will you come?_

 _Will you be here when I get home?_

STOP BELLA.

"Oh... Yeah... I forgot about those." He chuckled darkly, lifting his hand up to tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, "Well, I'm sure you'll have fun." He nodded. Quickly, he turned on his heel and entered his room, the door closing behind him a second later.

* * *

 **Hi everyone, I really do hope you are enjoying this story.**

 **I'm quite concerned that it's getting lots of views but I'm not really getting a lot of feedback, which worries me that no one is enjoying it!**

 **Could you please leave a review to tell me what you think of my idea?**

 **You don't have to be a member to review, you can review as a guest too.**

 **Should we have an Edward POV next chapter? Any ideas who Edward's friend is and what's going to happen at the Ball?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _Edward_

My foot tapped on the floor impatiently as I sat on the sofa, trying to focus my eyes on the pre game talk.

"Jeez, man. You're that hungry?" My best friend, Emmett, looked over at me with wide eyes, motioning to my jittery leg as he took a swig from his beer.

We had just made nachos and they were in the oven to melt the cheese just before the game started.

"Yeah. I guess." I mumbled, making an effort to stop my movements.

"So how's work?" He asked, shifting his weight to put one arm behind the back of the sofa.

"Good... Normal." I shrugged, my eyes flicking to the front door quickly.

I wish he'd shut up. He was distracting my thoughts of Bella.

 _Where was she?_

She had gone out this morning before I'd even woken up. It was 2pm and she still wasn't here.

" _Oh._ " Emmett let out a gust of breath, his eyes growing massive, "You're looking for Alice's friend aren't you?"

"What? _No._ " I shook my head once, sitting forward to place my elbows on my knees. I turned my attention pointedly to the game.

"Either, you're super protective of her like a brother... Or you've got a thing for her." Emmett deduced, "And you're not even that protective over Alice, so I'm gonna go with the latter." He grinned.

Smug fuck.

He put his feet up on the coffee table, laughing when I pushed them off straight away, "I do not have a thing for her." I insisted.

"So you won't get bummed if I think she's hot and ask her out will you?" He inquired sweetly. I knew he was trying to get a reaction out of me, and I refused to bite.

But I did.

"You are _not_ asking her out." I almost growled, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"So, you've got a thing for her then." He shrugged one shoulder, "It's cool, man. She's what, like twenty-two? You're only twenty-five."

"Age isn't really the issue." I muttered.

She was my sister's best friend.

And age _was_ an issue... I had known her when she was a kid!

I raked my fingers through my hair, "I don't like her anyway, so just drop it."

He opened his mouth to speak, but then we both heard Bella's key rattling in the lock. My breath caught and held, and I turned to watch as the door opened. Emmett mirrored my actions, and we both saw Bella walk through the door, dropping her keys on the side table. She was dressed to perfection: tight black jeans hugging her curves, a green checked shirt on her small frame, and her hair tied up in a high pony, leaving her neck exposed and making me want to plant my lips there and nip the skin softly.

She was carrying a large dress bag over her arm, and her handbag over her right shoulder. She glanced up at us both hesitantly, before blinking and letting her eyes widen.

"Oh." She murmured.

 _What did that mean?_

"Hey Bella." I tried to sound cool, but my voice was thick.

Emmett chuckled from beside me, covering it up by putting his beer to his mouth and taking a drink.

"Hi... Is this the friend you were talking about coming over?" Her words rushed out of her mouth, tumbling over each other.

"Yes." I nodded, trying to make sense of her words.

Who did she think it was going to be?

Wait, did she think Emmett was cute?

Speaking of, Emmett put his beer on the coffee table and rose quickly. His large frame made its way over to Bella, and I watched as he took her hand gently, raising it up to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

"I'm Emmett. It's lovely to meet you." He purred.

Fury rose up within me.

 _Was he fucking joking?_

 _I'd ruin him!_

This was obviously never a possibility. Emmett was three times my size and it was all muscle. I wouldn't even be able to push him back a step. But right now I wanted to knock him out.

"Hi. I'm Bella." She smiled sweetly, _so fucking sweetly._

"Did you get your dress?" I enquired, just to interrupt them. Fake curiosity boiled up inside me as I made my way over to the pair.

"Yes." She motioned to the bag, before taking a step towards the hallway leading to her room, "I'd better go. I need to be ready soon."

Emmett and I both nodded, watching her as she retreated back towards the other end of the apartment and disappeared into her bedroom. As soon as I heard the door click shut, I turned my attention towards my best friend.

My friendly facade was gone.

"You fucking asshole." I muttered, punching his shoulder, "Don't touch her."

Emmett raised an eyebrow, "So are you going to be pissed if I call dibs?"

Dibs?

 _Dibs?_

"Are you fucking joking? Firstly, _yes_ I'd be pissed if you called dibs. And secondly, you don't _call dibs_ on someone like Bella."

I'd taken a step towards him, and he held up his hands in mock surrender, "Dude, but she's hot!"

"You don't think I fucking know that? Hence why you aren't going to go near her." I growled, my voice low.

Suddenly, he started cracking up, "Dude, calm down. I'm only jacking with you."

"What?" I breathed.

"She _is_ hot. But I can tell you like her. I just wanted you to admit it."

He walked back over to the sofa, and I followed him slowly.

"I don't _like_ her." I argued, "I just think she's gorgeous. The last time I saw her I was eighteen and she was fifteen. She was in that awkward teenage stage... I never thought she would turn out like _this._ " My hands found residence in my hair again, "I've wanted to _go there_ all week. I don't know how I'm going to survive a few months."

Emmett patted me on the back, "Don't... Just go there, get it out of your system."

Get it out of my system? It sounded so terrible and crude.

"I can't. She's Alice's best friend... It's wrong." I shook my head, before getting up to get the nachos, "Let's just not talk about it again, please."

Emmett could tell I was being serious, so he dropped it and turned his attention back towards the game.

There wasn't much noise from Bella's room for the next few hours, apart from her door opening and closing a few times as she went to get showered. Emmett and I didn't look down the hallway as she did this; I was somehow terrified of seeing her wrapped in a towel.

Just after 6pm, her door opened again. I was hyperactively aware that she was about to leave, because I'd been watching the clock since 5pm, waiting for her to appear.

Emmett and I were still sat on the sofa, we'd just finished our tacos for dinner and I felt like they were all about to come back up my throat at the thought of turning my head to look at her.

The Harvard Ball's were not casual events. They were black tie. Which meant Bella was going to be wearing a long dress of some sort.

It was going to be a stark comparison to the jeans, blouses, t shirts and sweatpants I had only ever seen her in.

I could hear her heels on the wooden flooring as she made her way out of her room and down the hallway.

I couldn't look. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

My heart was thundering in my chest, my eyes were wide and my hands sweaty. Why did she have this power over me? The images in my head were full of naughty, sinful things. Like pushing her against the wall, hitching her dress up and wrapping her legs around my waist, pushing my groin against her core to let her see the chaos she was causing.

"Woah." Emmett spoke from beside me, and I looked at his face quickly. He wasn't looking at me, or the game, instead he was looking over my head towards the hallway.

Towards Bella.

At his words, my head and my heart couldn't take the suspense any longer. My eyes snapped around to try and find her. But it didn't take much searching.

My breathing stopped. My blinking stopped. The sordid images in my head of making Bella mine stopped. _Everything_ stopped, except one thing.

My heart. It swelled.

She was standing a few feet away from us, her small frame draped in a red silk dress. It was strapless, and the bust moulded around her breasts strongly, before falling down her body, hugging her slim stomach, and down further, washing over her ass, before pooling softly at her feet. The dress was simple and sensual. But she was perfect and she made it look like it was Oscar worthy.

Her hair was curled and pinned to one side, falling across her right shoulder gently.

As for her face... _Bella had applied makeup._

There was a part of me that didn't like this, because her face was flawless and beautiful without the use of any products. But the way she had applied it... It was the bare minimum and completely effortless. I had never seen a woman get ready for any sort of event and not be completely covered in the stuff.

But Bella... I shouldn't have expected anything less, should I?

Her eyes were now framed by a touch of mascara. The lids were light on the inside, and the tiniest bit darker on the outside, blended to make her eyes appear bigger.

She didn't need to do anything to make those brown eyes any more perfect. They had me.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

She had also applied some red lipstick, and looking at her lips made me want to kiss her _so badly..._

"You sure you don't need a date tonight?" Emmett's voice snapped me from my thoughts, and I almost let out a low growl, "I just happen to have a tux in my car."

But when I looked at him, I could tell by his face he was only messing around.

Bella giggled softly, "Thanks for the offer." She nodded, glancing down inside her black purse, before walking to the side table and putting her key inside, "I have to go. Have a nice night boys."

And then, just like that, she was gone.

My mouth was hanging open, I _knew_ it was. But it was only when Emmett reached forward and pushed it closed that I realised she was gone.

"Dude, you didn't even say anything to her." He complained.

I just shook my head for a long moment, my breathing starting to regulate and my mind trying to clear the fuzz that was taking over, "I know... I couldn't..."

"Has she got a date for tonight?" He enquired, leaning back on the sofa.

"I have no idea." I shook my head, but suddenly my stomach dropped to my feet.

I had tried not to think too much about this evening, because I had attended all the Harvard Balls myself and I knew that the guys always tried to get laid. More so than during usual nights out.

But seeing her in that dress... I knew it was going to consume my thoughts all night.

What if Bella had a date?

What if she didn't, but she met someone there?

What if she brought someone home?

Emmett left about a half hour after Bella did – I wasn't much company for him after she was gone.

All I could think about was Bella.

I let my head fall back against the sofa and tried to clear my thoughts.

But something was bothering me.

I couldn't picture myself crushing Bella against the wall anymore and devouring her like I hadn't had sex in years.

I could only picture myself going to her, touching her face gently with one hand whilst the other found her hip. I'd pull her to me gently, staring deeply into those never ending brown eyes as I smiled down at her, only lowering my lips to touch hers after she'd smiled at me in permission. I'd kiss her softly, lovingly, winding my hand around the back of her neck, holding her to me until we were both breathless and desperate.

I'd take her into my bedroom, I'd kiss along her shoulder and neck as I unzipped her dress slowly, letting my hands roam across her stomach and up to her breasts, squeezing gently and caressing her the way she deserved.

Then I'd lay her down on the bed and make love to her; hearing her whisper my name so softly as I tipped her over the edge of ecstasy and decided within myself that I would never let her leave me again...

My eyes snapped open suddenly, and I gasped for a breath as I looked around the apartment. The TV had turned itself off after hours of inactivity, the lights were still on, but there was a noise I couldn't place...

As my head cleared of sleep, I realised that someone was trying to get in the front door.

I jumped up; my heart hoping it was Bella.

I looked at the clock in the kitchen as I walked to the door, it was 3am.

In my last few steps towards the door, a fear struck deep within me. What if she was bringing someone home? How creepy would it be if I was standing here, almost looking like I'd stayed up waiting?

I took a step backwards, about to bolt to my bedroom when suddenly the key connected correctly with the lock after about twelve failed attempts. Suddenly, the door pushed open and I looked down at Bella.

She was alone. _Thank God._

She was also blind drunk.

* * *

 **Thoughts? What would you like to see happen next?**

 **Reviews, as always, are really appreciated.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _Edward_

The calm that had washed over me after seeing Bella was alone was replaced by amusement as I watched her giggling to herself softly.

She was beautiful.

Her giggles made me smile widely, a warm feeling appearing in the centre of my chest. She pulled the key back out of the door before she even realised I was there.

When she spotted me, her eyes went wide and she gasped, "Edward!"

"Hi there." I grinned, taking in everything about her.

She was terribly drunk, but her appearance somehow remained the exact same as when she'd left.

Her dress was still perfect, her lipstick still the same shade, her eyes still surrounded by long black lashes.

She threw her bag and key down on the side table before raising an eyebrow at me, "Did you wait for me?" Her voice was just curious, not judgemental.

"Uh. No." I reached up to tug on my hair, feeling awkward, "I fell asleep."

"Oh." She huffed, "I need to sleep."

She grabbed onto my arm quickly, and shock tore through my at the fact the she was _touching_ me.

With the aid of my arm, she bent down to pull off one of her heels.

I chuckled. She was adorable.

This woman was just... Something else. And I couldn't put my finger on it, but I wanted _more._

Glancing up at me as I laughed, her face suddenly cleared. It was as though she'd just realised I was in front of her.

All of a sudden, she smiled breathlessly up at me, "I'm a bit drunk." She commented.

"A bit?" I teased, "Did you have a nice time with your date tonight?"

I knew the question was stupid, but I tried my hardest to make it sound casual.

 _I was just so desperate to know._

"I didn't have a date." She shrugged, taking off the other shoe, "I went with my girlfriends."

Relief flooded through me, my eyes shut for a long second as I let a brief smile touch my face. I held on to her arm a little tighter at this confirmation.

"Did you want Emmett to be your date then?" I laughed again as I opened my eyes, but this question really didn't sound as casual.

She stood up straight, looking deep into my eyes for a long moment; it was as if she was searching for something there, "No." She spoke quietly, almost too low for me to hear, "He's not really my type." Her hand slid upwards to my bicep, eyes following the path, "He's humongous."

"I see." Smiling, I almost wanted to give myself a pat on the back. There appeared to be no one that she was interested in. And I was thrilled by it.

 _Why?_

Her small hand was warm on my bicep, and after the thoughts of her possible suitors had calmed in my head, I was suddenly acutely aware of the fact she was touching me. And that neither of us were moving away.

I loved the feel of her soft skin touching mine, it comforted me and made me confirm in my own head yet again that I would do anything to feel the rest of her warmth around me.

 _Everywhere._

It took me another few seconds to realise I wasn't breathing.

I sucked in a deep breath, and suddenly I could smell her scent, so close to me that I was drowning in it. I already knew what it smelt like from living with her for nearly a week, but tonight she had put on the lightest of perfumes too, and it all mixed together like heaven in one single person.

I never wanted it to stop.

I reached behind her with my free hand, closing the front door quickly.

"Did you have a nice night?" She asked softly, tilting her head to the side.

The look in her eyes stopped me from responding.

So beautiful, and so innocent.

She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on.

And she had no idea about anything.

She had no idea of the thoughts that had been roaming my mind the past few days. She had no clue that all I wanted to do was claim her as my own, make her body give in to me in the most wonderful ways and have her never leave my bed.

Shaking my head, I decided to answer the question, "I slept for most of it. Did you? Did you have a dance with anyone?"

I wasn't sure where the question had come from. Why was I asking that?

But somewhere, in the back of my mind, I couldn't control my rage at the thought of another guy with his arms around her.

"It was good. I didn't dance though." She shook her head, eyes still on my arm, "I don't dance."

"Dance with me." The words came out quickly and in a rush.

Her eyes darted up to mine quickly.

"Excuse me?" She laughed, "Edward Cullen didn't you hear me? I _don't_ dance."

Looking deep into her eyes, I wasn't sure if she'd even remember this in the morning.

And I was banking on it.

Because now my mind was working in overtime.

I was having crazy thoughts that maybe if I could just have a few minutes with her, just holding her... Maybe my fixation would die.

Maybe I would "get it out of my system" without actually having to have sex with her.

And if she was too drunk to remember it, it would never be awkward between us.

I put my hand on her hip, gripping her free hand with mine. Quickly, I lifted her bare feet up onto my own, "You can dance now." I smiled.

I wasn't sure if she'd been nervous around me for long, because I had been too focused on my own feelings towards her. But as soon as I pressed her chest to my own, I could tell her breathing was laboured. I could feel her heartbeat thudding against my ribcage.

I looked at her in shock, trying to make sense of her reaction. Why was she acting like this towards me?

But her eyes were hooded, and she wouldn't meet mine.

If I didn't know any better, she was filled with desire for me.

But instead, I knew she was just full of alcohol.

I began to sway us gently, enjoying it as she pushed her silk clad body closer to mine, "This is nice." She commented in a whisper.

"Yeah." I looked down at her, our eyes connecting and our lips lifting up in a small smile. I couldn't manage to say anything else to her.

She made me speechless.

Just then, as our bodies moved together slowly in my living room, I wondered how I had gone seven years without speaking to her, without looking at her.

Memories that had once seemed insignificant began to fill my mind. Memories of when she'd come to my house and I actually wanted to speak her. I'd offer to send her my old homeworks for Math because I knew she hated the subject. I always wanted to make sure she had a warm drink when she came to visit in the winter, and an ice cold drink when it was summer. I used to ask what her and Alice were up to that day or night. I used to listen to her terrible jokes and watch as she blushed.

I liked to make sure she was okay.

At the time I just thought I treated her like Alice.

Now all I wanted to do was kiss her.

And suddenly I wondered if I could...

Surely if she would not remember the dancing she wouldn't remember a kiss...

But I already knew I was going too far. First it was just a dance. Now I wanted a kiss. Next I'd want sex.

With a stark realisation, I knew I was never going to have enough of Isabella Swan.

Also, I didn't want our first kiss to be forgotten by either of us, and that almost sobered me completely to the fact I was perhaps even thinking about doing it properly one day.

Instead, I lowered my head and placed my cheek on the top of her head. She smelt so good, like flowers and promises and _home_.

Her hand left my arm slowly, moving to my chest and staying there for a long moment. It was perfect.

It was everything, and _Jesus Christ_ I wanted more.

Suddenly, as if reading my mind, her hand slipped under my t shirt and her fingers touched my skin. My eyes widened, and I looked down at her in shock. She wasn't looking at me though, she had her eyes closed.

Her hand didn't do anything crazy, it just sat underneath my t shirt and her fingers stroked my abs gently, tickling me where the hair lay. Goosebumps rose on my entire body.

How was it fair that she got to touch me like this and I didn't?

Taking a deep breath, I lowered my head further, letting my lips skim along her bare shoulder. Her skin was _just_ how I imagined; soft, supple and warm. I desperately wanted to kiss her properly, and I tried to control the urge by letting my tongue drift out and taste her skin as I planted a proper kiss on the crook of her neck.

But I couldn't make myself kiss her properly on the lips.

Because if I did... _When..._ I did... I wanted her to be just as sober, just as willing, and just as crazy about me as I was about her.

Instead, I let her go gently, and she unravelled herself from me. I watched as she stumbled to her bedroom without another word, shutting the door behind her with a loud click.

I attempted to erase the thoughts that had just passed through my mind.

Isabella Swan was never going to be crazy about me. And I was _not_ crazy about Isabella Swan... No matter how much my lips ached to touch hers and tell her that I was...

* * *

 **Please review.**

 **Should next chapter be EPOV or BPOV?**

 **Do you think Bella will remember?**


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